AHHH so did you think this was going to be a KIND, passionate entry about the LETTER I wrote to my husband....well its NOT. Today the letter I wrote was entitled " The things I worry about daily"! It was a list of the things I think/worry about while I am trying to go to sleep at night, when I wake up, while I am drinking my coffee, whenever I have a quiet moment. Some of the things were more of a TO DO list, for example: cleaning, and laundry. MOST of the items were the list of never ending BILLS we have to pay, and how I have to juggle what should get paid this month, and how much we have for groceries.
******OH did I not tell you we are a family who lives paycheck to paycheck. Yep we dont have a savings account...we did but it laid empty for 6mths and our bank closed it for us. So since we make less a month then what we owe, we juggle or I should say I juggle what bills get paid. Did you know you can actually postpone paying your water bill for about 3 months before it gets a disconnect notice, and if you juggle your cell phone bill just right you can pay about once every 45days without getting disconnected. FUN games I participate in but don't really enjoy playing!!!!*******
The other part of the list was the typical mom things: feeding kiddos, bathing kiddos, playing/entertaining kiddos. the others were the things we do as moms but dont really talk about : worrying about our children and our husbands getting sick, hurt, or worse...dying, worrying about the lessons we are teaching are children daily with our ACTIONS and WORDS, good and bad ones. Worrying about whether or not our children will "have friends" and "fit in". worrying about if our children will know when to stand up for themselves, and for others!
******maybe this was on my list because a new school year is around the corner...hmmm!******
So this list was several pages long. I was tired of verbal communication with mi esposo. hell we have been married 7years and together 10 years. Communication is KEY, but sometimes you get tired and try inventive ways to 'let them know" how you feel and whats going on. Let me see...in 10 years I have yelled, screamed, picked many fights, threw a shoe, towel, I have used " can we talk", "we need to talk", " I am angry", "what the f#$% were you thinking when...", "no you didnt...". I have written messages on the mirror good and bad but this was the FIRST letter of this kind.
So did it work.....I would say YES it did! I gave it to him upon his arrival home from work along with this tag line "hey TAG your it", and I went to take a nap. I awoke later to a CLEAN quiet house, dishes done! I went outside to my sunshine with a cold glass of ICE TEA and sat for about another hour...quietly. When i went inside I showered, and called my sister. After an affirming convo with La Weasil, my husband peeked around the corner to tell me that pizza was on its way. He then waited for a response and proceded to our room. He entered quietly, sat down on the bed and said " I LOVE YOU baby cakes" and hugged me. He proceded to tell me positive thoughts about how we will come out of this soon, and money will get better. he said " you are following your dream to be a RN and thats good for you and us...we have to sacrifice right now but it will all be worth it soon...we are learning alot from this...we have been through worse....and I love you and appreciate you for every thing you do.....when you need a break from things just tell me...." !!!! Te amo mucho mi amore Marco! All my friends call me the MOTIVATOR, for those of you who were wondering who motivates me when I am down...its mi esposo, mi amore Marco! Its his follow through, committment to us and our family, and his "no worry attitude" that keeps me sane!
So the letter thing, well......it worked! It helped to write all that stuff down too, therapuetic like!
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